Tax

I hate tax. I don’t think there’s anyone who loves tax. Generally people don’t like something that reduces their expenses without their explicit control. That’s what tax does……and marriage. Given the ubiquity of this emotion, I will not dwell on it. however, there’s a side dish to the vice. Annual Tax Returns. You know why I hate these in particular? For one, I can’t see what they tax so I cant put an image to the tax. The Income Tax Act is a voluminous statute. It will use too much memory space. But a tax return? Why, its just the right size for a whipping.

Not only is it enough to take a whooping third of my income but you have to tease me about it 6 months later? Then there’s the whole psychological element of making me multiply it by 12 just to tell just how far up you shoved it? The first time I filled one I nearly passed out. I’d never thought I had so much money. If you’re like me, you look at your monthly net, period. KRA kindly asks you (on pain of penalty, of course) to take that amount, add the amount they’ve bled from you, then multiply that by 12, then do roughly 30% of that. Lets do some math with X being my monthly income. X + 0.3X * 12 = 15.6X / 3 = 5.2X. So the amount in the tax return is 5.2 times my monthly net. That’s tantumount to taking a virgin by force without lubrication at the back with a 2 litre coca cola bottle……..and asking the virgin to help push.

Granted, tax is an element of society we can’t get away from. The whole concept of the origin of government is etched in the idea that we cede power to a select few (or a structure in society made up of a select few) so that they can weild our consent for the greater good. Same thing with tax. We cede a bit of our income to a collective vessel which can then implement the things society takes for granted. So when I drive out and I see a road and at the necessary times its manned by a traffic cop and I know that vigilante gangs will not put a road block in my way with impunity, I try and understand that the concept is at work. Its not flawless, just like humanity is not flawless, but at least its at work. Of course the flip side is when I turn on the tv and see a clip on politicians and parliamentarians and I feel like taking one of them and shoving a rim of annual returns where the sun doesn’t shine. Or at least its not supposed to shine but you never know, people have weird fetishes. I digress.

But my point is, take it. but don’t ask me to watch my own ravishing….in HD. Take it and go. I don’t even notice when I’m taxed. Nowadays when I’m given a raise, I calculate 70% of the amount as a matter of reflex. You know more about that money than I do. So how about you fill the annual return yourself. I mean, seriously, just wipe yourself.

Enough venting.

So lets talk about fake exemptions. KRA knows how to fake it, doesn’t it. I mean, I think it even carries a tube of goo around in case they need a quickie fake. Capital gains tax was abolished in the 80s. if you don’t know what that is, its basically a tax the difference between disposal and acquisition price for an item which has experienced market appreciation. Disposal profit, if you like. So this is currenly not taxed. But if you’re a company, any item exempted from corporate tax attracts a compensation tax upon distribution of dividends. What the hell is compensating tax? Its like giving someone a discount but saying they’ll pay the difference on their way out of your store. IDEOS…..oops, I meant, IDIOTS!!!!!

Random thought – it’s a cool phone. I just don’t spending money to get an android and then a cost-effective (yeah, lets use that term and maintain relationships) android floods the market. I no longer say I have an android.

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