Bucket List tries X

I've been working on my bucket list for the last 2 weeks and I haven't been able to get past 5. Isn't there an unwritten rule somewhere that they should be at least 11? Is the lack of progress a sign that I am lacking in ambition? Should I Google a few bucket list items? Did the chicken successfully cross that darn road?

Don't get your hopes up. I will not provide you with these answers just yet.

Like every other person person, immortality appeals to me. So I had an Un-Dorian Gray portrait done. The "Un" is because it has the reverse effect, I age and it doesn't. Oh well, it was the best I could do under the circumstances. I digress.


So anyway, here;s what I have so far....
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There's this list that people come up with basically of things that they feel the need to do before they kick the proverbial "bucket". This takes some thought since its essentially a balance between portraying myself as completely lacking in ambition and ensuring that "my reach does not exceed my thrust". Speaking of which, isn't that phrase the most comical or is my sense of humour just twisted as usual? I mean, the phrase is simply "bark worse than bite" which essentially means reputational ambition - form without substance, but everytime I hear that phrase, all I can think of is this dude who pushes himself to his limit and barely manages to get his thing to reach, but maxes out and can't follow up with a consequential thrust. Ok, I digress.

My bucket list currently reads thus:

1. Go up in a hot air balloon - I know, doesn't sound crazy but keep in mind I have a fear of heights. They say the bigger they are, the harder they fall, and its public knowledge that I pack a big one - ego that is. That other one is barely average by today's standards.

2. Sky dive - an extreme follow up of the former but with a life or death angle. I mean, I'll be facing my fear just like in the hot air balloon but in reverse order where incremental exposure to the source of my is replaced by sudden exposure to it. The reason I think I can do it is because I need to make the decision only once, and I bet my ego can kick me out of that plane and let gravity claim its rightful vengeance on my body. Whether or not I pull that cord is where the life and death choice comes in, my ego will bail and sheer survival instincts will kick in and thrust my reflexes into overdrive. Sorry, am I boring you? Switch to the facebook tab and update about it, why don't you.

3. Own german technology - and by this I don't mean buy a Volkswagen polo, I mean one of those mean-ass BMW or Merc engines which can get me to 200kph and still allow me to breath normal. Say a 335i or a E320. And not just own it and drive it, but for once, just once, do 200kph. I suppose I should add "even if its the last thing I do" coz on Kenyan roads, it might be. I know, knock on wood. And at the thought of accomplishing this bucket list, I don't need to go far to get wood.

4. Design and build my own home. I have mad design ideas, including hidden rooms, secret passages, surveillance systems that would rival CIA's, dedicated rooms (like one lined with mirrors walls, ceiling and floor) and stuff I've pulled out from TV. It will be grand, I tell you.

5. Find love. I know you're shocked but I have to confess I'm not perfect. And I do not mind the idea of 


5. Travel the world. In my itinerary are places like the Egypt pyramids, the Great Wall of China, Machu Pichu (not-so-lost city of the Incas), the Amazon and Antarctica, basically places which are not ordinary. If there was a tour service to the moon, I'd have it on the list.
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Hopefully one day, I'll have a proper bucket list. Wait, am I allowed to put that on my bucket list, or is that a redundant thought?

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