Games for Old People

Over a month. I'm cured. Sh*t, I'm here again. To the point, I’ve been playing “how did you meet ‘this one’” with various friends and acquaintances and it got me thinking nothing can surprise me; I've had it all. Sadly some stories are tragically short. Take for example this one: – I met this one on facebook. One of us added the other, the other accepted, we met a few times, a friend may have been involved and VOILA, here we are. Or I met this one on facebook too. One of us added the other, the other accepted, we met a few times, a friend of a friend may have been involved and VOILA, where are we? *remove 'friend'* Or I met this one through...

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For no apparent reason I'll tell you what I've been watching of late. Steve Spielberg, mostly. He seems to have decided movies aren't the in thing, and that series are. So he has these interesting series out, the latest being Terra Nova. This one about a modern day community put in the middle of nowhere in the age of dinosaurs. Characteristic of him, he makes it not be all about dinosaurs. That man knows how to spin a tale. Then of course Walking Dead has made a comeback. I find it to be the most captivating series this year. It's about this band of people surviving in a post apocalyptic earth trying to not be bitten by zombies. Such series...

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I think I'd like me if I met me!

If I met me, I think I'd like me. No, seriously. Thinking about it, I realize that I like me, objectively speaking. I'm almost exactly how I'd want me to be, and there's very little I'd change about myself. The little I'd like to change, is mostly what I can never change. I'm not saying it would be a flawless encounter. No, I'm sure at first I'd be a little cautious, which I completely understand, of course. And then I would embark on a journey of discovery, self-discovery, you might say. And when I realize I've known enough about me to pierce the cold callous exterior, then I'd appreciate what I found underneath, and the need to protect it...

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Drugs are bad for you. Which reminds me, jokes about vagina are just not funny. Period. I had an exciting weekend in which I also got to think a lot about my life. Turns out that I'm chicken. The reason I didn't hit on someone I met was not because of principle, it was because I didn't have the guts and I was afraid of failure. Go figure (although to save face I must say the stakes were not nearly high enough). But this blog is not about me, its...

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Life Lessons

Your enemies rarely take you for granted. If they do, either you deserve it, or they won't be around much longer to take you for granted again. Your acquaintances rarely take you for granted. If they do, they are easily dismissed with the contempt they deserve. Your friends on the other hand. They occupy that strategic place in your life which allows them the opportunity to take advantage of you. The ones who do it without knowing are both better...

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Bloctober

Ain't life just ironic? I spent a few painful hours with two friends who were once love birds but have since found the inevitable differences. The tension in the air between them was palpable and tiring; eventually just had to separate for the sake of my Sunday. It all boils down to ego, I think. They're both too proud to make enough effort to get along with each other. I don't blame them, my ego makes such socially awkward moments a case of black or white. We either get along and I recognize your existence or we don't get along and you're persona non grata. And its a bad thing, to be so damn unforgiving. Humans are not wired for that. Oh well,...

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Wednesday Nightmares

I had a nightmare yesterday, actually a series of nightmares. But they weren’t nearly as scary as those in between moments when I was awake and checked facebook for current happenings. And no, Steve Jobs death did not scare me that much, in fact, the thought that someone else would beat me at coming up with clever witty jokes about that was more disturbing. The source of my disconcertion was a news feed item that showed two people who recently became friends. One of these is the most psychotic person I know, as in I literary freak out every time I hear his name. And the reason for this is not my fault, mostly. When you have the kind of friends...

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October - Final Lap

I’ve “drafted” a post that a friend inspired me to write. It covers that sensitive topic of things that only Oprah should hear, and even she should listen them backstage with her bodyguards on stand by. But I can tell a hating post while I write it and I’ve decided that I’m too nice for that sh*t. You know, one interesting thing about blogging is unpredictability. Having chosen such a personal topic means I cannot predict what I will post about in the weeks to come. But this also keeps me on my toes in looking out for things I can talk about while at the same time making sure I don’t go the vain bitchy route. I thank God for my friends. They...

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Again?

I've changed my url again. You see, unlike you, I don't have trouble finding my blog, I don't need to cram urls. I just log into blogger and I have all the links that I need. I did it because I like the new url more that I liked the old one, not out of the need to dodge y'all. I mean, aren't you, inexorably, here? I however think that this url will give me more drama than the other one. But then again, that wasn't the intention, just an acceptable collateral effect. Enjoy, I know I wi...

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Ode to my Crazy

Dear Child, If I had a trophy cabinet, you'd not be in it. It would be for trophies, not wrapping or filler. When you're playing games, you have to be willing to accept a win or a loss, but you need the intelligence to know what constitutes a win and what doesn't. If you had what it takes to play chess well enough, you might (emphasis on the existence of possibility not on the presence of probability) have picked up that part of strategy is predicting reaction. In other words, you manipulate the player, not just the game pieces. I fear that analogy is too complex to explain in writing, and I have since lost the tolerance for your mediocre acts...

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Forever Unbowed

Now y'all know I don't do convention. I mean, this blog is about the unimportant things in life, not the things that matter. It's about the small peculiar things in life that catch my attention but have nothing to do with posterity, or with the bigger picture. But this one I must comment about. Those of you who know me know that there is a severe shortage of shits coming from me especially about emotional stuff. I'm an expert move-oner. I get angry, sad and confused just like any human being but I quickly rationalize why I'm feeling that way, decide on some logical course of action and move the freak on. Cheers to the freaking weekend, right? But...

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Late Year Mutations

Alcohol on a Sunday night, heart to heart talk with a friend, chatting up someone I met on the streets and late night blogging. This is trouble. I believe in love, true love, but not that fairy tale shit. I believe that two human being can spend their entire lives for each other, complimenting each other in ways that words cannot capture. But I don't believe that it happens often. I believe that typical love stories are few, and those few are marred with issues that fortunately never face public scrutiny. And thats the whole idea behind true love, properly managed public relations. I believe that most people settle for less. That whole shit...

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Social Dilemma

Do you know there's a dilemma about how to spell dilemma? Is it dilemma or dilemna? I've always known that it was dilemna without question and now I'm told that I'm wrong with a consolation that I'm not alone. Anyway, this is irrelevant. I've been presented with yet another opportunity to make a meaningful social relationship out of someone I met a while ago. And I will squander it. You see, those of you who don't have gut instincts can never know how compelling these can be. My guts rarely ever lead me wrong. Two years back I'd have said without fear of contradiction that my gut instincts have NEVER led me wrong. Time has made me wiser. But...

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Blog Dilemma

Almost every single time I think of a topic to discuss here, I realize that someone else has discussed it recently. It feel so un-original to give my own views except on a relatively virgin topic. I mean, even looking back I cannot find a single topic which had not already been discussed by other people before I posted. But really, isn't what makes anything interesting the fact that we can all relate to it and have similar and maybe only slightly divergent views on it? And who do I think I am to come up with an absolutely new topic for discussion? I guess I'm feeling the pressure of aversion to the typical, more specifically, to being typical. Sigh....

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Splurt splurt, I'm out!!!

Excerpts from potential posts I could have developed... 1. There I was, all prepped up and ready to do battle with my keyboard, to hunt through sites and links and search engines to get to that one coveted site that I recently heard about, ready to burn the midnight oil and take countless cups of coffee in a effort to keep the demons of sleep from taking shape, and then, poof, I found it. Without effort, without strain and even the bleakest hint of mental exertion I found the link to it. And to seal the deal, irony determined that I found it to be utterly irrelevant to my then very paralyzing desire. No, kind sir, this is not a quest for the...

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The Adonis Factor

That's the title of a documentary I've just watched. It's about appreciation of male beauty, essentially how vain the "stronger" sex has become. Interesting piece that was screaming just one thing at me - VANITY!!! Human being are vain and must be destroyed. Anyway, I saw this bit about nude yoga. I have no idea how that fitted into the whole documentary but it reminded me that a dear friend of mine once posted about life in the nude. Now that's something my whole being will never come to appreciate. Life in the nude is objectionable enough without bending in all manner of exposing positions and postures. The whole concept of being exposed...

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Why We All Die

Ok, that's a misleading topic, but I got you reading. A few minutes ago I got an epiphany and now have incredible wisdom to share on life's most pertinent problems. Why are politicians so annoying? Why are lawyers so crooked? Why are blogs filled with such pain, despair, frustration and other negative emotions? And why don't I like humanity in general? You see, any activity that appeals to the general public or a section of the public is bound to play to its whims. Politicians have no choice but to appeal to the public, and the masses are not known to posses a collectively high IQ, ergo politicians have to be, or act stupid. Lawyers cater to...

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Bucket List tries X

I've been working on my bucket list for the last 2 weeks and I haven't been able to get past 5. Isn't there an unwritten rule somewhere that they should be at least 11? Is the lack of progress a sign that I am lacking in ambition? Should I Google a few bucket list items? Did the chicken successfully cross that darn road? Don't get your hopes up. I will not provide you with these answers just yet. Like every other person person, immortality appeals to me. So I had an Un-Dorian Gray portrait done. The "Un" is because it has the reverse effect, I age and it doesn't. Oh well, it was the best I could do under the circumstances. I digress. So...

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A Lesson in Human Nature

Romans 7:15 "I  do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Human nature is such that we do not readily accept our weaknesses, we seek to compensate for it, cover it or outrightly deny it, and yet, for some intriguing reason, history is filled with inspiring people who seem to have made peace with their weaknesses. I will not add to that list. Like every other mortal I walk around with a facade that my character, despite my sincerest efforts, I cannot match up to. This year has had one repetitive theme for me, that all of us are carefully (not so much so in some cases) self perpetuated frauds, masks,...

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Failed Social Experiment

Lesbians are not as fun as they seem from far, they're so human. I had the chance to hang out with a bunch of them but I guess the mix was steeped not to work out too well for me.I learnt one thing, where human being have differences and diversity, all these are based on the basic principles that make us human. Such as love, attraction and lust. I know, quite primal, but the list is inexhaustive.I realise I'm inclined to enjoy the company of a select few, and no more. There was no incentive to talk to anyone, and this is in my house. So of course I called for social reinforcements.The thing with me is that I don't pursue lost causes, I must have...

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The End Of All Things Good

Sitting here next to two lovers, watching the young in their frivolity and trying to read about a character that I have stubbornly refused to let go of. I guess they are lovers from the way they lean close to each other to talk, something short of standard bombers conspiratory proximity but much closer than peeves discussing random exploits. I can't see a ring on either hand. It touching, every single soul has the innate desire to identify and share with another soul, and yet this remains a most elusive goal. For me especially. They young with their frivolity. I'm presuming the frivolity from the senseless pursuit of fashion (which serves my...

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Rote Post

Its an interesting 2nd week of leave. A few notables: 1. I've gone from meeting people to negotiate contracts whose only value proposition for the meeting was to highlight all my proposed changes and agree with them. It defeats the purposes of me having sent tracked changes on email. If you think its that they are averse to using technology to make life easy, you're wrong. He was reading the contract from his laptop. Sigh, the things we do for money. And then, we were to have a follow up meeting today and my efforts to confirm the meeting and its venue do not yield fruit. But that does not stop them from sending an email to tell me they were...

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Oh-CAMP fOr SIX

What? That was the most profound dignity stripping event ever. Goes to show how important preparation is. I went camping, no, that wasn't the problem. The problem is that we randomly decided to race, and I was way ahead. But then, my shoes decided that since they had long shoe laces and had not been tied, they could pull a judas on me. My shoes left me, mid stride, and I flew. No, seriously, there's falling then there's diving then there's flying. Lucky for me my chest "broke my fall" and I skidded safely to a halt. I got bruises in unexplainable parts, some unmentionable parts too. Fortunately there was no expectation of rising to the occasion...

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Chronic Labeler

I'm back at it again, this describing people shit. I'm a labeler. It makes me sleep better at night, and of course y'all identify corresponding people in your lives. I've always thought I'm a good judge of character and personality, at times from a mere look, and I'm rarely ever wrong. In fact, I can think of only 3 times in my life when I've been what you can call remotely wrong about someone's personality. I may not figure out exactly what you are, but I never fall for the facades that are all too common in today's society. I have a facade too, and I take great pride in it, and even greater pride in its permanence. I'm a sucker for nice...

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Leaving Feels So Damn Good

My first few days of leave have been exquisite. I haven't gone to Mombasa as planned but I'm not complaining. I was dragged out of my house by my friends at 11pm and taken to an old man's place. I was under the impression that we were just going to pick up a camera and so naive old me was shocked to get back home barely in time for my leave bed time - 3am. But it wasn't all bad, the old man is hilarious, very hilarious, starting from the backdrop that he was unhappy to have to entertain at such a late hour. I was laughing for the first could of hours on Monday - no better way to start the week. One of the funniest thing, and quite flattering...

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I'm Leaving You

I've finally started my leave. It gave me such profound pleasure to tell a colleague "see you in September", and to have a last working day of the month on the 12th of the month. Sadly, time has this thing it does and eventually September will come and I'll have more than three months before my next big break from work. Anyway, so how has my leave started? Not bad. Some over-hyped international kenchic opened at the junction and all the young people who live more for the social rep than anything else flocked to "my mall" and provided me with an excellent opportunity to "bird watch". So I spent a few hours there, and met with a friend, a client...

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Of Work and Polar Opposites

I'm having one of the busiest weeks yet, lots to clear up before I go on leave. So it was with great fascination that I heard my boss telling a client how I'll be meeting with him next week Tuesday to discuss a transaction. His audacity is impressive, matched only by my tenacity - the meeting was eventually rescheduled. I mean, I'm supposed to be waking up to Coast's warm humidity at that point in time and as much as the opportunity cost is vastly appealing (another reason for the need for sarcasm font), I had to engineer a way of aborting it. I have two clients who are polar opposites of each other - on a scale of 1 to 10, one rates 9...

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Saying NO

I know so many people who have a problem saying no. Ok, I must confess, I do too. Especially when it comes to saying no to myself. But when it comes to saying no to people, that one I have mastered. It's a cruel art, making you look bitchy at best and downright troubled at worst but, like money, it's a necessary evil My heart bleeds when I see people suffering as a consequence of not saying no at the right time. People so frequently get themselves into social conundrums due to their conscientious drive to be courteous, and inexorably, human beings around them adapt subliminally into pushing them to this limit knowing they will have their way...

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Friday night splash

I've always been minded to write a post about balance. But it'd be too judgmental. It'd be based on my twisted sense of balance. So I won't write about that. Anyway, I'm a bit high. I couldn't figure out exactly how to spell inebriated only to discover its my phone dictionary which didn't know better. I'm easy to please. So its with shock that I confess I'm bored. Old people tend to bore me, old white ones even more. So a strategic retreat, without the house owner's consent, n how to do it with a few well trained dogs in the vicinity. Alas, I need to stop typing before I say something regrettable. But then again the risk is minimal, I don't...

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Camera Shopping

I have many brilliant friends. I'm humble enough to defer judgment to my friends on any area in which I do not feel sufficiently qualified so when it came to buying a camera, I knew precisely who to call. I've known this guy for more than three years now and he amazes me at his uncanny vast knowledge of electronics and cars. I mean, this guy is like a walking wikipedia of stuff. Show him and picture of a car and he'll start going on and on...

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End July Rants

I've been reading Harry Potter fan fiction (don't judge me, everyone has a problem with letting go) and from the many stories I've sampled or completed, I came to realize that the essence of a good story is not really in it's plot, at least not for me, but rather in how well the characters are developed and how much I can identify with them, positively or negatively. And yeah, that's one sentence. Fortunately, this is a blog and I don't have to worry about developing characters. I can write what I damn well feel like. We all get irritated by the weaknesses of others, especially when we regard them as basics, but what I find puzzling is those...

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The Vagaries of Miscellany

I initially chose "The Miscellaneous Many" as the post heading but who can pass us the chance to use the word vagaries. I hate the word random, so I'll describe this post as covering several unimportant erratic topics. Seeing the hate messages leveled at one Alfred Mutua, so called government spokeman, I begin to wonder. What if it’s all deliberate? What if he gets a hefty salary to Njoki Ndung’u us (if you don’t know, read to the end and infer the meaning, I’m not given to explaining context unless its to a client) into abject hatred for him and therefore diffuse our notion of the utter crassness of the actual leaders that we...

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Reprieve

I've finally conceded and decided to give reprieve from my silence. It's been ages since I've post and I have actually gone 7 days without a single post. I've been partly resisting and partly uninspired, and even this is simply clutching at straws. It's been an exciting one week with loads happening. For instance, my housemate decided to test the limits of socialization and invited "a few" people over. This time, a few turned out to be 40+ on Saturday night. The house was so crowded, moving from the front door to the balcony was cardio. He was also ambitious enough to assume the bash would end at 11pm. Now the one thing you must know about...

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I’m stubborn. I’m sorry.

I’m stubborn. I’m sorry. I’m not apologizing for what I am, because, strange as it is, I think I need to be stubborn to be a better person. You know that guy who never gets angry? Ever thought that maybe you’d really regret it if he got angry? Where is this coming from? Well, I was recently blasted to oblivion about being irritating. Now, anyone who knows me knows few people can actually bother/dare to take me on face to face. I guess that explains the rumours and third party information which I tend to eventually hear about myself. And I never engage in verbal violence or even heated conversations to the point where expletives are used. It solves...

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Cryptic

I had posted this a few days back but deleted it out of residue of human empathy that I have, but the residue has since been depleted and otherwise rendered redundant so here goes the post..... So apparently I'm not as clever as I thought. Just to be clear, I didn't think I was that smart to being with but hey, I think I thought therefore I thought I am (some of you will get that, some of you won't, so don't feel bad if you don't, it's life). A wise man once said, for most things there is no absolute truth, just the strength of your convictions. That wise man is me, just now. I guess that's the premise of all religions and most faiths (all...

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The End of a Saga

Yes, of course I watched Harry Potter. What did I think of it? It was an apt finish for the movie series and did not make me feel swindled, but as usual the script wasn't written, and the movie wasn't directed, by George Lucas or Steven Spielberg, so I could always find one or two points to criticize. But the point of this post is not to critic the movie. It's to celebrate it in a more specific manner. Severus Snape. My most favorite character from the first movie and through out the series. Yes, you guessed that this has something to do with his peculiarity, his mastery over his emotion and his obvious but often hidden potency and the even...

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18 of the 86 Rules of Drinking

Apparently there are 86 rules of drinking. Out of the bunch, only 18 made it here: If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight. There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours. It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking....

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"[Random Stranger] has accepted your friend request"

I promised someone I'd dig into their profile and get to the first ever facebook wall post or post a blog. After 10 minutes, I had gone all the way back to February 18, 2011 where there was a post about tomatoes and fruit salad. I gave up. Waaaay too much wall activity. So now I have to post something here instead. Don’t you just hate it when blogger is down and you have a burning post to put up? Well, that’s not happened to me in a while so that was just a pointless whine. Here’s a more contextual one. Don’t you just hate it when facebook sends you a notification saying that “[Random Stranger] has accepted your friend request”? Random Stranger...

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